is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
