marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
