found the other keg... it's in the tree
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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