Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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