when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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