So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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