whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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