In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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