dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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