Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
