last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
