His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
