Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
