it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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