I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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