You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I intend to get homeless drunk
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
