I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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