I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize