we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
