It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
