But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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