Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
