Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Randomize
