Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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