MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
