Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize