He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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