Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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