Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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