Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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