I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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