So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
