I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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