oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
