I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I have aggressive nipples.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
