Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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