people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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