Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize