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I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
