He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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