He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
