areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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