If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Randomize
