Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
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His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
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Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long