i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
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