I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
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I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
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If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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