Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.