wanna go halves on a baby?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
