on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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