I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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