Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
