that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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