Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
