I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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