I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
