Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize