So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
A+ Viking dick
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
