He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
