therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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