i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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