is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
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